A social media user in Nigeria has shared a weird story about how witches in Lagos find things very hard.
She shared this story on the popular social media platform, Twitter and it reads;
“Being a witch in Lagos must be hard. After a stressful day at your 8-8 job, you still have to prepare for midnight meetings where your own share of the coven’s latest victim is the feet of an angry Nigerian that has never had a pedicure 🤮
You also have to endure the rants of your coven mate who comes to the meeting every day to complain about her neighbour whose husband just got a new car. You’re wondering why she’s not asking for her own car but for the coven to kill the neighbor and her husband. Sigh 😏
But you’re not even surprised anymore, considering that you asked the coven for spiritual liposuction just last week but they declined and offered to give you love potion instead to charm a sugar daddy that will pay for your trip to Turkey to get the procedure done.
What would it take them to just take away your pot belly and add the fats to your bum, eh? Why do they think you want to wait 3 months for your body to heal? What are the advantages of being a witch self? You wonder again, for the 1000th time.
You try not to think too much cus you suspect that the coven leader can hear your thoughts. But can she really? Cus the deputy coven leader has been sleeping with her husband for the past six months and she doesn’t seem to suspect a thing. Waste of power, God forbid!
Oops you suddenly remember you cannot think about God here. Phew, it still takes some getting used to.
You almost puke as your seat partner bites into her own share- a piece of buttocks meat heavily decorated with “kuruna”
She’s asking why you’re not eating yours, so you hand it over to her cus Lord knows you plan on throwing it away anyways.
No one warned you that all they do here is share the meat of people with body odour. What you heard is that this is where you get the power to get anything you want in life. But this is the third year since you joined and you still cannot get your boss to approve your promotion.
If you bring it up now, all they’d do is suggest for you to kill your boss. But knowing how his greedy children are eager to sell off the company as soon as he dies, you know the only job you’d have if you kill your boss is to be selling pap with the coven leader at Atan.
The one time you asked the coven to make you rich, they asked you to donate your dark chocolate Yoruba lover, Tunji to the coven, after which they gave a long list of things you wouldn’t be able to do again. One of which is spraying money at an Owambe.
What’s a rich Yoruba woman if she cannot spray aganran at parties while jiggling her breasts to K1 The Ultimate?